And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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