And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
