I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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