I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
