I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
