Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
