I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
