what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize