I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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