i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize