yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Jerry, you need to find god
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
