It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
