My friends, they love my intelligence
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
