**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize