I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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