Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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