Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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