So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
