i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
