Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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