I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize