Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your penis caused this!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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