she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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