ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
