What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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