once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
