Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
