i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize