cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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