you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
