thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
