Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You're like the curious george of whores
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
