You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
