bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
