What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
