dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
