Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize