So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
