how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
