after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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