Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize