Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
