If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
