I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize