when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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