I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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