i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
