Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
