even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's great music for shaving your balls
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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