I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
