So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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