That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
