Jerry, you need to find god
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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