this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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