i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
