when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
