bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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