Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
