I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
