I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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