Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
