Say something about gay babies.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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