Sry I called you an 8
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
